Wanting For Fools
by ZG Vallea
Summary: As no one seems to understand, I will clarify: this story has a conclusion. It is "Into The Brown And Blue." Please go read that if you really want more "Wanting For Fools."
1. Part One

**Wanting For Fools**   
  
  
Meryl reasoned with herself that it wasn't the stars that glimmered in the atmosphere that night that made her so melancholy, but the fact that she looked at them alone did. But, being reasonable, she knew she didn't drag anyone up here with her, so who was to blame? And she did look at the stars, in wondrous, twinkling, astral harmony, set upon a cloudless night sky that stretched forever. She often wondered about forever, and in her thoughts, would occasionally remember those eternal points of light. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that forever was not something meant for her.   
  
_And he's forever, isn't he. Yes he is. Damn him,_ her thoughts went. The tragic hero of her most recent years played in her mind on loop these days, it seemed, and she kept dreading the moment when she'd actually have to fulfill her promise to Milly. Why did she make that promise? She knew, just _knew_ it wouldn't do any good. She supposed that, yes, it would be good to get things off her chest and into the open, especially when he could hear, and that, yes, it would save her a lot of anxiety and trouble with having to withhold such a secret from him, but still...   
  
"Hey!"   
  
She hated it, nonetheless. She turned around at the voice, and sure enough, it was him. Mr. Vash the Stampede, in all his goofy glory, grinning and waving like a maniac who'd had one too many donuts. She swore that she'd beat him senseless one day, if for no other reason than to just get some anger out. He could be good for anger management, if you really thought about it.   
  
He approached her and looked down to peer at her curiously. "What are you doing up here so late?"   
  
Yes, she could clobber him right now, and no one would know. Taking on an exasperated tone, she replied, "What does it _look_ like I'm doing?" Though there was no need to get huffy, it sure was all too easy to become so around him.   
  
"Getting ready to dance?" He grinned and started doing some funny, wiggling thing that she supposed was his version of 'dancing.' She had a sneaking suspicion of what he was trying to do, and it worked; she begin giggling at the odd sight, and covered her mouth to hide the smile that had formed.   
  
Vash kept grinning but stopped his movements to sit down beside her. "See? It's not that bad, now is it?"   
  
Confused, she asked, "What is?"   
  
"Smiling, and laughing. You need to loosen up a little! It's great." He nodded solemnly, with a look of utmost seriousness upon his face. She, in turn, broke into a nervous smile.   
  
"I suppose." She looked down at her hands and studied them for a moment. Meryl knew this had to be the time to tell him, or otherwise, she might never tell. She had to brace herself, be strong, and, most importantly, look him in the eye. If she looked him in the eye, then she could do it. She couldn't run away, then.   
  
And she wouldn't now.   
  
"Vash?" She turned to gaze at him, hoping that she wasn't blushing. Yet.   
  
His vision lingered upon the sky for a second longer, then wandered back to her. "Hmm?"   
  
She twisted her fingers together. This was it.   
  
"I-I've been meaning to tell you something. And... I'm not quite sure how I should say it." It was a start, right?   
  
"Then just say it?" His expression was of complete curious innocence. He had no idea what she was getting at, did he? No, of course not. How could he know?   
  
Her heartbeat thump-thump-thumped in her ears. His eyes were so captivating. Now or never, and she had already started it. _Go._   
  
"I like you, Vash. I... I really care about you. I know it's strange, but it's true. I've felt like this since... since I saw who you really are. But, I still don't know who you really are, and now that you've faced Knives, and brought him back, I thought maybe this is for the best, because now you don't have to run away and hide, and that maybe we could all stick together, because--"   
  
Meryl cut off as she realized she has just babbled out a complete string of nonsense. She bit her tongue and lowered her gaze for a second. _Time to recollect yourself, girl,_ she thought. She looked back up at him...   
  
And blinked. Of course. She hadn't thought about what this would really do to him, had she? She'd been so selfish in her thoughts, she never contemplated what would really happen _after_ she told him...   
  
Because now, Vash stared at Meryl with the most blank expression she had ever seen.   
  
The heartbeat in her ears stopped; perhaps her heart stopped beating altogether, then. For the look he gave her frightened her more than all those times before, when she had been scared to death of what he might become. But the uncertainty of the next moment stilled her to stare back, her distress most evident upon her face.   
  
She finally found her voice, saying, "Vash..."   
  
But he cut her off. "Meryl. You don't have to explain it to me. I understand." With that, he turned away from her and gazed back up at the stars.   
  
Stunned. That was the only way to put it. Her tongue felt thick in her mouth, preventing her from speaking right away. What was there to say? He just dismissed her, so easily, with a few simple words.   
  
_What's wrong with him?_   
  
That's when the anger came again.   
  
"Well, if you understand, then why don't you say anything?!" she rounded at him. She was determined not to be ignored, after spilling her guts out to the man she cared about more than anything else in the world! Why, she'd ring his neck if she had to, kick him in the shins, punch him in the nose, slap him, anything!   
  
But his next words drained everything out of her.   
  
"There's nothing to say."   
  
All that was left between them at the moment was silence. Awful, dreaded, horrid silence. The abject way he had carelessly made her feel at that moment crushed what small, good hopes she had had of this conversation.   
  
Anger forced its way up again; it was a good defense.   
  
"Well, if you have nothing to say, then you can stay here and _rot_ for all I care, Vash the Stampede!"   
  
Meryl jumped up and hurriedly walked away from the cliff and from that... that man. _That idiotic, two-faced, yellow-bellied coward of a man!_   
  
But Meryl did not get to see the look upon Vash's face as she walked away and left him alone on the cliff.   
  
  
- end part one - 


	2. Part Two

**Wanting For Fools, Part Two**   
  
  
Milly stirred the warming soup and hummed a small, cheery tune. She knew that it was getting quite late, but she also knew that, while staying in this town, the three friends had grown accustomed to late meals. She helped maintain the well, Senpai served drinks at the bar, and Vash stayed in the house, watching over his brother.   
  
She didn't think about it much; that is, about Vash's brother. She recognized it as a subject that was still very sensitive, to everyone, so she put it aside and dealt with things as they were. Presently, it was the soup. And the question of--   
  
The door slammed shut, and someone stomped by. Milly didn't have to turn her head to tell that it was Meryl, but she did anyways.   
  
"Senpai! You're back!"   
  
The other glared at her. "You're darn right I'm back! Who wouldn't come back, after being where I've been!" She paced the floor a moment, then looked at Milly.   
  
"That man is so impossible, so stupid, so ignorant, so..."   
  
Milly tried to help out. "Idiotic?"   
  
Meryl snapped her fingers. "That's the word!" She kept taking in such big gulps of air that Milly was just slightly worried about her. Nevermind her current temper, it was what it would do to her health that really concerned Milly.   
  
She had to ask the obvious, since this was getting nowhere. "Senpai, what happened?"   
  
The other yanked at her hair and screamed, running to her room and slamming that door too.   
  
Milly blinked. _And she was getting so much better..._   
  
She turned back to the stove and worked on the soup some more. She knew that Meryl would eventually come out and explain what had happened between her and Vash, and that things would eventually be settled, and that, eventually, everything would be okay.   
  
Eventually.   
  
Vash came into the house, shutting the door a lot more quietly than Meryl had a moment before. He dusted himself off a bit, then sat down at the table and just stared at the wall. Milly, still at the stove, turned her head to look at him.   
  
_Oh... he looks so..._   
  
Her good-willed nature kicked in. "Vash-san? Are you all right?" She hoped he told her, and didn't keep it all bottled inside, because it really was a very bad thing, and she didn't like it when very bad things happened to the people she cared about, or to anyone, really. And what's more--   
  
"She told me she loves me."   
  
Well, _that_ got her attention. Milly knew she'd never be considered the brightest crayon in the box, but even she knew something of what had happened. She guessed that Senpai must have told him, and he must have told her something that she didn't want to hear, and so she had stormed off, as usual, and was now sulking in her room. Yes, that seemed about right, so Milly asked Vash if this was the case.   
  
"But I didn't do anything..." He sighed, and began staring at the ceiling. "I didn't do anything."   
  
Milly nodded in complete agreement. "Didn't do anything wrong, or didn't do anything at all?" She turned off the stove and let the soup sit on the slow-cooling burner. She made her way to the table and sat opposite Vash, who had taken to staring at her.   
  
_He looks so lost._   
  
"I... Ah..." He looked down, beyond sheepish and more into deeply embarrassed.   
  
Smiling slightly, Milly was about to go further into the conversation when she heard a small click from behind. She didn't look, but she guessed that Senpai had cracked her door open and was going to listen in. Vash still had his head down, so she supposed that he either didn't hear, or didn't care. Yet whichever way it was, Milly had to help set things straight.   
  
Gently, she asked, "What exactly did you say to Senpai?"   
  
Begrudgingly, it seemed, he looked back up and replied, "I told her that I understood. Because... I _do_ understand. But there wasn't anything to say after that. I thought... that was enough." Vash closed his eyes.   
  
"Never is enough, huh."   
  
Opening his eyes, he stood up, his face suddenly becoming hard. Milly knew that face, and feared it.   
  
"But now I see what needs to be done. I need to move on."   
  
Some confusion lingered. "Where are we going to go, Vash-san?"   
  
He stared at Milly a moment, then said, "I have to take Knives and leave, so the safest thing would be for you and Meryl not to come along this time."   
  
The soup grew increasingly colder as the silence stretched. The door behind Milly was pushed closed, hard, causing Vash to finally take notice. He muttered a curse, then walked to open the door.   
  
Milly sprang up. "Wait! Vash-san!"   
  
He paused, his stance trying not to indicate troubling thoughts. "I can't wait any longer. I'm leaving tomorrow." He turned the doorknob, and went out.   
  
Milly hurried to Meryl's door and knocked. "Senpai? Senpai, open the door!" She tried to go in, but it was locked.   
  
From her position outside, Milly swore that she heard muted sobs through the wood.   
  
  
- end part two - 


	3. Part Three

**Wanting For Fools, Part Three**   
  
  
Morning rolled around, finding Vash barely stirring within his room. Rubbing the sleep away from his eyes, he yawned, big and loud, and stretched. He looked out the window, and delighted to see that it was yet another beautiful day. He smiled; all was right in the world.   
  
Until he recalled the events of last night, and then everything sucked.   
  
Vash groaned, wishing that he had never remembered, that he had never said those things, that he had never gone out to find Meryl... _That short girl gets me into a lot of trouble,_ he thought sullenly. But it wasn't her fault, he knew. He didn't have to go to the cliff. He didn't have to be a jerk and say nothing. He didn't have to be a fool and announce that he was leaving, today of all days. Why couldn't he have said next week, at least?   
  
But now there was no turning back for me. He knew this, and he had to stick with it. Besides, he reasoned, it'd be good to get out on his own again! He wanted to travel some more, to see the world all over again, maybe flirt aimlessly with all the pretty girls...   
  
Then Vash remembered his problem, and grimaced. Carrying around a comatose brother didn't help at all with the ladies. Or with much else, for that matter. He'd actually have to buckle down and... settle somewhere. Which, he supposed, would ultimately be for the best. He knew of two years of peace and quiet, and while he knew he could not return to those exact days, he could at least recreate the pattern of them for the days to come. For who knew what would happen, once Knives awoke? He had to be prepared to live in a hole, if need be, to protect everyone from his brother. If he ever woke up. If he went back to his xenocidal ways.   
  
_If if if. What if nothing happens? That's just as likely too. Maybe he'll stay asleep forever..._   
  
He could only pray for that, even though it wasn't truly fair to Knives... but better he slept, than cause pain and havoc throughout the world. Better he slept alive than dead.   
  
He finally got up and began to get ready for the day. After washing up and getting dressed, he was prepared to go out to the kitchen and find something to eat, when a knock on the door sounded. _Please don't let it be--_   
  
"Vash-san?" The inquiry was sweet yet worried, but nevertheless, it was someone he could deal with at that point. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.   
  
"Come in, Milly."   
  
The doorknob twisted and the door moved in as Milly was already traveling into the room, carrying a tray of breakfast.   
  
"I fixed you some cereal, and some juice, since you'll be needing it today." Her smile was warm, but distracted in a curious way, as if somehow asking him why. She set the tray down and peered at him, trying to gauge something. He raised an eyebrow, questioning, so she finally spoke.   
  
"You don't have to go. We won't force you to stay, Vash-san, but... I don't think you should leave." Her fingers knotted and twisted at her pant legs, as she stood smiling, trying to make the smile encouraging.   
  
Vash could only smile back, but shake his head no.   
  
But she nodded slowly. "Well... I understand. But Vash-san, you should at least talk to Senpai. She needs you to talk to her, and you need to let her know why. Don't you think?" She kept smiling, but this time, it was one that brooked no argument. He knew he'd have to say something eventually, but that didn't mean he really wanted to...   
  
No, he wanted to. And he did need to talk to her. Something in the back of his mind urged him to confront her, and get everything cleared up; it would be for the best.   
  
Right?   
  
"Yes, I think that would be for the best."   
  
Both Milly and Vash started at the sound of Meryl's voice floating in from her position, leaning against the doorway. Clutching some papers in one hand, with arms folded across her chest, she stared daggers at the only man present. And he did not look to be enjoying such a gaze.   
  
Milly clapped her hands. "Wonderful! I'll leave you two alone now, so you can talk!" She hurried out, giving Meryl a thumbs-up sign before she disappeared. Meryl shut the door behind her, staring at Vash all the while.   
  
He slid a hand over his eyes. _And this is just the beginning? God help me._   
  
"I have something here that you should read." She approached and thrust one of the papers in his direction. He snatched it away and began to scan over it.   
  
"...A report on the events taken place after you found me again?"   
  
She nodded, satisfied. "That's correct. I've suggested that your case be closed permanently, and with the evidence given, I think that'll be enough to get it done." She handed him another paper, the only other one. "Now read this."   
  
He read. Then exploded.   
  
"Quitting?! You can't quit your job! What are you going to do? What about Milly, have you considered her? She's your partner, you can't do this to her!"   
  
When he looked at her again, she had started to smile again, although a touch smug and sardonic. _That was probably the wrong thing to say._   
  
"So worried? Why should you be, since it won't concern you once you're gone?" She sauntered closer and pointed a finger at him, taking upon an air of arrogant confidence.   
  
"Well I'll tell you why I wrote that letter. In the event that my boss calls me back to the office, after closing your case. Because I've come to the conclusion that you need me."   
  
He blinked, and she felt some triumph. He only felt confused.   
  
"That's right, you need me. And Milly as well. Have you really given any thought to what you're going to do, once you pack up your bags and take Knives away to a new town? You're going to have to work, obviously, but that won't leave you much time to watch over your brother. You'll be taking care of two people, one of which is a vegetable at the moment, so you need all the help you can get. And who better to help out than your very own, very capable, pair of insurance women? You won't find a better deal around, Vash, and you know it."   
  
Absolutely self-assured that she was right, she closed her eyes and nodded. As she stood there being satisfied with her reasoning, he peered at her a little closer. He noticed that she was a bit disheveled, and looked to have been crying. Very recently too. Her face was a little puffy, and the rings under her eyes were just slightly too noticeable.   
  
"You haven't slept all night, have you?"   
  
She moved her attention back to him, frowning and looking to get angry. "What does it matter? Now, are you going to take this deal, or are you going to stand around and gape like an idiot?"   
  
He grimaced. This was going to have to be it, then, wasn't it? He had to confront her on what happened yesterday. Things had to be cleared up, and setttled, before...   
  
Did he really want to go? He had to be sure, absolutely sure that leaving Milly, and Meryl, was the best thing to do. He'd already dragged them halfway across the world, so he could find his brother, but what did that mean? That he was lonely, and wanted the company? That they were devoted to their work? He had to know the meaning of their friendship, if it was really that. He had to know what it would mean for him to stay, or to go. What he meant to Meryl. And maybe, what she really meant to him.   
  
Vash took a deep breath, and began.   
  
"I said I understood, when you told me you love me--"   
  
"I didn't say I loved you, I said I cared." Meryl blushed, not looking away.   
  
Vash looked unperturbed. "So you don't now?"   
  
She shook her head violently. "That's not what I mean! I still care for you, Vash. I--" She broke off, biting her lower lip, but kept staring into his eyes. And he felt somewhat guilty, driving her to almost say something she didn't really want to admit to anyone. Yet he didn't, in that he wanted her words, more than anything else at that moment; he wanted to know exactly what she thought of him. He wanted to know if he could truly justify his reasons for leaving her behind.   
  
Because one way or another, it would kill him.   
  
"Go ahead and tell me," he urged. "I want to know. Or do I get to leave here without knowing how you feel about me?"   
  
This time, she looked away. "I, I don't know if..."   
  
He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. "Tell me! I know you're not stupid enough to keep this up in the air, so tell me! Tell me, Meryl!"   
  
She snapped her head back up and screamed, "I love you! I've loved you and will keeping loving you until the day I die! I love a fool who doesn't know what a good deal this is, and who's going to walk away from something that I know he'll regret for the rest of his life!" She paused, her face tightening slightly as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. "Do you think I'm scared of being with you? Do you think I'm stupid? Well I'm not. Come what may, it won't change the fact that I love you, Vash."   
  
Meryl pushed herself out of his grasp, scrubbing at her eyes. "There. I said it. Are you satisfied now? You know how I feel."   
  
She looked back up at him, red but brave-faced, challenging. "So what about it? You're going to leave anyways. Did you just wanted to be sure before you left? Before you leave me behind?"   
  
Now it was Vash's turn to look away. Bitter laughter escaped her throat, drawing his attention once again.   
  
"Well. That's it then. I have my answers."   
  
Meryl began to turn and walk out of the room, but was stopped when hands suddenly grasped her, pulling her face-to-face, and very close, with Vash. Close enough to make her gasp and wide-eyed at an expression so hard and cold.   
  
"I think you're as much a fool as I am, Meryl," he said, stern and unflinching. "Do you think, when I said I understood, that it was to put you off? Do you think I'd say that, if I didn't know what you meant?" But then, he started to shake, and the breath he sucked in came raggedly, as if forced and somewhat unwanted.   
  
"It wasn't my intention to make you angry. But I didn't know what to do, or say. _I didn't know what to say, Meryl._" He laughed, but even that quivered. "What can I, when the words I feel I should say... don't make sense?"   
  
He let her go, drawing in another frazzled gulp of air as he looked to the ceiling for a solution. She, on the other hand, stared at him in a daze, her expression showing a mixture of surprise, happiness, sadness... and something else, something heartfelt and tender, that was sure to be what she could not show anyone but Vash.   
  
"Meryl... I can't give you certain words. I don't think I'm ready for that yet. I... there's so much I want to tell you, but I can't just now." He looked down at her, shy but unwavering.   
  
"You're right. I suppose I do need you. And Milly, of course, to help take care of Knives. And I was right too, of course! We need to keep moving!"   
  
He laughed again, this time it being his high-pitched squealy laughter, but it faded away fast.   
  
He smiled. "You know?"   
  
Meryl smiled too, then laughed as well. "Of course I know! I've known all along, but you were being difficult as usual!"   
  
Suddenly Vash grabbed Meryl and gave her a hug; not one of his usual bear hugs, but a gentler, simplier hug. And for once, she didn't object.   
  
"Thank you."   
  
"For what?"   
  
"For being honest, of course."   
  
"Mmm. Don't worry about it. That goes for you too."   
  
"Ah. You're welcome."   
  
"You too."   
  
Then, a scream came from the other room, and the sound of something breaking. They broke apart, wide-eyed and surprised.   
  
"Milly!"   
  
"Knives!"   
  
Vash and Meryl ran out of the room.   
  
  
- the end? - 


End file.
